“She is free in her wildness, she is a wanderess, a drop of free water. She belongs to no man and to no city. She knows nothing of borders and invents her own rules and customs. ‘Time’ for her isn’t something to fight against. Her life flows clean, with passion, like fresh water.” – Roman Payne
I received the bolded part of this quote in a text from a deeply connected goddess friend, Georgette Star (one of those people who I know talks to God on the daily.) I was sitting next to the pool and rice fields in Bali soaking in the sunshine and warmth in March 2017.Jennifer Moore hosted an incredible holistic retreat – and the person who found herself there surrounded by women she didn’t know in a country 24 hours away was newly single and ready for whatever was next. She had NO idea what was in store – but man, she was realizing how open she was to it.
With this quote, she sent, “This made me think of you.” It made me laugh because of something that happened in our yoga class that morning. Our retreat guide asked us to say ‘I am’ and fill in the blank with what others have put on us. Something that isn’t true. Like ‘I am hard to love’ or ‘I am not good enough’ – whatever we want to let go of. We did our yoga flow and at the end of class, she asked us to fill in the ‘I am’ with something we wanted to believe. My mind immediately went to “I am wild & free.” Of COURSE it did.
The next day, on my way to the tattoo parlor (on the back of a little scooter taxi), I saw a sign that said “All good things are wild & free” in huge letters on the side of a building. It made me laugh out loud. I was already planning to get ‘Wild & Free’ tattooed on my arm, but that went deeper. Deeper – like Roman Payne’s words.
I had spent my two weeks in Bali reflecting on everything – and had such little direction in my life and my business after years of meticulously planning all of it. Although I was old enough to know better, I was also able to change my mind and go a different direction than the one I planned. I WAS (and still am) wild & free.
While I was in Bali, I started working on my Life Vision. I picked a date 10 years in the future and wrote down what I wanted.
[MY 10-YEAR VISION (2027)]
[ [ [ I closed my eyes and pictured myself in a cozy sanctuary in the mountains. I am 46 and full of joy sitting in a chair under a warm blanket with coffee next to my sleeping dog as the snow fell outside. My husband is in the kitchen playing with our child and it makes me smile listening to them laugh. Our chef is making us breakfast before prepping our lunch & dinner so we can enjoy the day alone. I am writing an article for a big magazine and enjoying putting pen to paper.
I am on a 6-month sabbatical from my business to get a renewed perspective and set us up for even more success. My business is making $25M in revenue with 35 incredible employees and we are doing what feeds our souls. I am giving back through my company and personally to local refugee families in our area. And I am thinking about the vacation to Bali we were taking with our little human and how much fun it would be to get surf lessons as a family. My word is cozy – and I am living it thoroughly. ] ] ]
This vision makes me smile reading it still. And guess what? A lot of that happened within 2 years of writing it down. TWO YEARS. I moved to Denver at the end of that year because I met the love of my life and we live near the mountains – close enough to see them from our living room. I sit in a cozy home looking out huge windows with my dog sitting next to me – and my life is cozy. I’ve written articles for big magazines and my husband is the best chef I’ve ever met. I’m still working on the rest of the business stuff, but heading there with a big plan and lots of energy. Best of all, I’m SO excited to have an incredible team walking alongside me as we manifest all of our plans.
By the end of that retreat in Bali, I was blissed out. The picture below is from my last day there – right before I went home to blow up the business I created and follow the purpose I was given. Right before I went to Camp Maverick and met Dan Russell – my now-husband. Right before I took big risks and found myself right where I was supposed to be. Because I figured out what I wanted, I wrote it down, I made a plan and worked on it every single day.
Two months after Dan & I started seeing each other, we sat in a tea shop and wrote out our own life visions separately and compared them. They were spot on. It was meant to be. (But that’s a MUCH longer story.)
Now you know MY big vision. It’s your turn.
Manifest That Shit
A quick refresher on manifesting. Manifesting is NOT woo-woo. It’s a concrete, very real thing that has specific steps. Manifesting what you want is not about SITTING on your butt binge-watching Netflix waiting for someone to bring you your Amazon Prime packages and takeout food. (I mean, that DOES sound lovely every once in awhile though.) Manifesting isn’t about THINKING of something and expecting it to appear. Manifesting is hard effing work.
Manifest that shit in 4 steps:
Figure out what you want.
Write that shit down.
Create a plan.
Work on it every single day.
Simple, right? No. IT’S HARD WORK! The hardest part is step 1.
Create The Life You Want
In order to create the life you want, you have to KNOW what you want. Recently, my new friend Heidi (AKA Spitfiregirl) told me that the My Life Vision workbook was helpful to review, but she was stuck. I told her to come over to my house and I’d walk her through it. When she was here, I watched her realize she was playing too small – underestimating what she could do 10 years from now. She envisioned her kids at ages 10 years from now, where she’d be living, and how much money she was making in her business – along with how much time and money she was giving to others.
Once she had the practical stuff together, we sat next to each other and closed our eyes. I hit record and walked her through a 12-minute visualization exercise. As soon as we finished, she sighed and said, “I’ve got it!” As she started sharing, I could smell her vision and see it in full color. It was exciting to her and got me excited watching her write it.
Yep, this photo below is of the two of us finishing up her plan in my cozy house with my dog & the view of the mountains (just past the buildings) and let me tell you – if her Instagram is any indication of how hard she’s working, I’m going to say there’s a big fire burning under her to get the life she wants. (I can smell the garden now.)
While we were doing this, I created this meditation for you. And yes, that’s Heidi in the background breathing – doing it with me. (note: It’s an iPhone recording – you can deal with the less than perfect sound quality. Please don’t send me notes about how it could be better. I have awesome equipment and maybe someday I’ll fix it. But it’s done now and in your hands. You’re welcome.)
So, be like Heidi and DO THE WORK! Get started on the visualization – then download the workbook and get working on what you want.
Start here by finding a cozy place to sit & listen to this visualization: (no opt-in required)
Then download the Workbook here: (free download with opt-in)
Print out copies for you & your significant other, business partner, team members, or friends. Have a party and do this as a fun exercise. Each of you will do it separately and then share what you came up with. Create a safe space for each other, push each other to go bigger, and then help each other take the next step. If you don’t have humans to do this with, jump into the Kickass Humans Club and make friends.
When you’re done, SEND ME WHAT YOU ENVISIONED HERE! I want to read what you came up with. Send photos, write-ups, ideas, questions, next steps, whatever you want. I want to know how this helped you.
Valentine's Day has been a REALLY hard day for me for the last 14 years. And I have a good reason why. But this year, it's changing. And it's because of something a woman said to me and my guy at a tea shop in DC when we first got together. It made me realize I had a decision to make – and that decision was not something based on anyone else. It was 100% my decision and no one else could change my mind.
Whether you love Valentine's Day or think it's just another Hallmark holiday, this episode is all about loving your life, yourself and everyone around you. It's your choice. Listen in to get inspired (or don't listen and have a crappy Valentine's Day.)
“The enemy of getting anything done is perfection.”
How often do we find ourselves criticizing ourselves and/or work? Even to the point that we never share it with anyone without filtering it? Perfection is unattainable. We are perfectly imperfect human beings creating incredibly perfectly imperfect things. Why bother putting a filter on it when the world needs us unfiltered and real?
I recently went to Isla Mujeres on a personal development trip with 11 other ladies. We created visions for our lives, worked on big ideas, created steps to implement those ideas, and then wrote out exactly how we would manifest everything we wanted. This wasn't for little dreamers – this was for women with massive magical manifesting powers. And while we were there, I realized that what I wanted was already within me – EXPLOSIVE CREATIVITY!
As I sat at the table working on what was blocking me, I realized that you can't schedule creativity – and that my mind needed to be free so I could create. Which reminded me of why I have an enso tattooed on my shoulder. According to Wikipedia, an enso is a circle that is hand-drawn in one or two uninhibited brushstrokes to express a moment when the mind is free to let the body create. It symbolizes absolute enlightenment, but it also symbolizes the beauty of imperfection. Which is exactly why I wanted it.
Letting go of perfection allows you to be creative & free.
Even this episode has SO much imperfection, yet I didn't want it edited out. Because who cares?! I'm a perfectly imperfect human – and you get to see me for who I really am – exploding with creativity without self-criticism.
You'll even find out why I'm launching a free mini-series The DISH Method on Feb 12! Behind-the-scenes info on where it came from and why I want to give it away for free instead of charging for it. And with all of its imperfections, I'm so excited to see what you think – so I can make it even better. Get on the waitlist at dishmethod.com and you'll get to download the workbook & watch the mini-series as soon as it's ready!
I love words. Lately, my favorite word is “manifest.” It’s one of those weird little misunderstood words so many of us think is “woo-woo.” All the life coaches and energy healers use it so it gets put in the category of mystical. This word gets entangled with The Secret and positive thinking – when, by definition, manifesting goes way deeper. Most people think that manifesting is just another way of getting what you want. The faith-focused humans liken it to praying. Some call it “the laws of attraction” and still others don’t believe in manifesting at all. But it’s a thing. A real, concrete, fact-based thing. (read on for a free downloadable workbook)
My friend Amy got married a few weeks ago and I was the wedding officiant. Being the wedding officiant wasn’t just about running the ceremony, it also meant I was behind-the-scenes helping her get to that day with the least amount of carnage. The day before her wedding, Amy realized the dress she ordered for the rehearsal dinner didn’t fit. (Insert massive freak-out moment) I didn’t worry about it, I knew we’d find just what she needed. She couldn’t figure out how I wasn’t worried – I told her that I would manifest one for her. And it worked. We walked into the local mall, into the first dress shop, and the first dress we picked up – the first she tried on – was exactly the dress that made her feel like a million bucks. And her groom was blown away by her stunning look that evening. Much to her surprise, we hit the manifesting lotto. It wasn’t just because we wanted it, it was because we had a clear picture of what we wanted, made a plan, and did the work to find it. (isn’t she gorgeous?!)
“Focus on your strengths, not your weaknesses.” – David Rendall
6 months ago, I quit my business. I had just been in the magic land of Bali and realized how out-of-balance my life was between my purpose and running my business. For years, I had wondered if there was something bigger, but worried way more about what would happen since I had a team that relied on me. I kept standing in my way by hiring more people, taking on clients when they weren’t the right fit, and doing work I never intended to do. I couldn’t say no – everyone around me kept telling me that the only way to scale a business was by hiring more people and getting more clients. I told everyone around me to follow their dreams and do the hard things to make them a reality – but I was sitting in silence hoping it would show up instead.
As soon as I made the decision and released it to the world, I started a journey of manifestation. That journey led me to more success in 6 months than I had in the 8 years previous. I had a very clear picture of what I wanted – I knew what success would look like for me. I made a plan and worked the plan. I got rid of everything I didn’t want to do anymore (and yes, I’m still learning how to say no) and started doing the things that lit me up. I noticed how all of my limiting beliefs about success and business were slowly disappearing and being replaced by abundance. I worked on it every single day.
When I called my mentor to share my accomplishments, he reminded me that everything I was doing right now was exactly what I said I wanted to do 6 months ago. My bookkeeper even told me that we were at 27% higher gross income over last year and net profit increased by 657%. HOW?! Because I manifested that shit. I made the decision, put in the work, and made it a reality.
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn
I recently decided it was time to finally find my tribe. I’d felt for awhile as if I was on an island – working hard without much support. Supporting so many people without getting the support I needed to keep my cup overflowing. I had done the work on how I wanted to show up in the world and my business and it was time for me to find more people like me. I wrote down the qualities of the humans I wanted to surround myself with. Incredible humans who lifted me up as much as I lifted them up. Hardcore entrepreneurs doing big things in the world – not just for themselves but for others. And I found them! I knew them as soon as I saw them because I showed up fully as myself and they loved me just as I was.
As a group, we went to Vermont to do more personal and business development – only to find ourselves spelunking, rappelling, and running a mini Spartan race – while tied to other people. We also learned how to make shelter, build a fire, and survive a zombie apocalypse. By the end, I was able to visualize more of what I wanted for myself and even how we can help disabled kids stay more active and disenfranchised kids stay out of trouble. I know it all might sound random but it was the best leadership training I’ve ever attended. Because that’s the kind of tribe that fits me. We’re crazy, but we want nothing more than to be our best selves and give back to the world we live in.
(Maverick pics by Alex Kane)
And in that tribe, I found my person. Someone I didn’t believe existed until a friend (who happens to be a dating coach) told me that I would have to come down to earth because the man I wanted was harder to find than winning the lotto. Guess what?! The best way to get me to do something is to tell me it can’t be done.
I found him. A man who is building a business in order to heal the world. A man who thinks bigger than himself – who does as much personal development as I do. A man who runs at my energy level and who envisions a life bigger than either of us can dream up. Because I finally figured out that I was attracting the wrong kind of humans – and I grew within myself to start attracting the right ones. I didn’t fix anything because I wasn’t broken. I did the work and he showed up.
He was obviously created just for me to the point that this past weekend, we sat down at a gorgeous little tea shop in DC (go try Calabash – it smells delightful and has the best chai ever made) to write out our life goals. We started by writing out the vision we have for our lives separately – and then read each other’s. After which we wrote out a list of our life goals, long and short term goals, and next steps to making them happen – while holding each other accountable. Can I even explain to you how long I’ve waited to find someone who would do this with me?! And he showed up up, not just out of nowhere, but because I knew what I wanted, made a plan, and showed up for myself.
“Every single one of your desires is attainable.” – Mama Gena
Mama Gena of the School of Womanly Arts (seriously, if you don’t know about her – fix that now) talks a lot about manifesting the life and love you deserve. Manifesting is deeply ingrained in who we are as humans. We are powerful beings and have the ability to bring to life whatever we desire. We can ask for what we want – and get it. We can call things to us. We can do the work and watch it show up. It’s really up to what we want and how we show up in this world.
But manifestation isn’t all about us. Just as our purpose on this planet isn’t a selfish one. We’re given the ability to make something from nothing – and as much as it feeds us, it also must feed those around us. When we are full, we can spill out on others. When we get the things we want (especially when they aren’t selfish), we are able to be a bigger presence on this planet – and make a bigger impact. It’s cyclical.
Let me put it simply – when we show up for ourselves, we show up for others.
And THAT is the key to manifestation. It’s not about sitting on the couch and thinking positive thoughts. It’s not about waiting for Prince Charming or that business idea to pop into our heads. It’s about knowing what we want, making a plan, showing up for ourselves, and doing the work to get it. That’s what I mean when I say “manifest that shit!”
The word manifest is an adjective AND a verb. Let’s get super clear on what it means and put it into action so you can manifest the life/business/person you desire. Grab a coffee (or your drink of choice), download & print the workbook, grab your favorite pen – let’s do this thing!
1. GET CLEAR ON WHAT YOU WANT
Before it’s an action, manifest first means “clear or obvious to the eye or mind.” This means manifesting is not a secret. Amazingly enough, the antonym (opposite) of manifest is “secret” – which means it’s in front of our noses. And sometimes we can’t see what’s right in front of our noses. From little things like getting a parking spot every time you go to the gym so you’ll be less likely to stay home to big things like the business you want to start or meeting the man/woman of your dreams, I want you to get super clear on everything you want for your life. You already know what you want, but sometimes we just need a little clarity.
In the first column, write a list of what you think you want.
In the second column, write down the reasons you want them.
In the third column, write down how they will make your life or others lives better.
Circle three things from the first column items you want to work on manifesting.
2. WRITE DOWN WHAT YOU WANT
To manifest also means “be evidence of; prove.” That means you have to create a place to show evidence – proof – that you want it. If you want something, you have to write it down. Put it on the wall, on your mirror, in a journal, or as a status on Facebook. Write it somewhere – pronounce it as the thing you want and then make it your mantra. Once you put words to it, you’ll continue the process of manifesting.
Label each of the columns with the three things you want to manifest.
Under each, write out a list of why these things are important to your life or others lives.
Then ask yourself why they matter.
Ask yourself why again.
Ok, one more time.
Check the sheet and make sure you are positively sure you have the right three. If so, move onto the next step. If not, fix it.
3. MAKE A PLAN TO GET WHAT YOU WANT
A manifest is “a document giving comprehensive details of a ship and its cargo and other contents, passengers, and crew for the use of customs officers.” A manifest is a detailed list of everything that’s included in a ship. Think of this as the detailed list of everything you need to get what you want. Writing all the little details down will help you hone in on the things you want. It will help you get super clear about the path it will take to get there. Without this plan, you’re just hoping. With this plan, you’ll start manifesting.
Grab page 6 and answer the following questions for each of the 3 items you want to manifest and create the plan for how these will manifest.
What am I manifesting?
What do I have in my life already that will help?
What do I need in my life to help?
Who is in my life already to help manifest this?
Who do I need to meet in order to manifest this?
Where do I need to go?
What do I need to learn?
Who will hold me accountable?
What are my daily action items?
What are my next steps?
4. WORK TOWARD WHAT YOU WANT
To manifest means to “display or show (a quality or feeling) by one’s acts or appearance; demonstrate.” This means you have to DO the work. You have to show up and put some skin in the game. You have to MAKE a plan then WORK the plan. Mark Patterson, my pastor, likes to say “Work like it depends on you. Pray like it depends on God.” Swap out the words however you need, but DO THE WORK. Sitting on the couch will never get you what you want.
Get out your to do list, calendar, planner, whatever you use to keep track of everything you’re doing on the regular. Do one or all of the things on the following list and get working on the plan.
Break down the plan into small action items.
Add your daily items so you can check them off. (Set reminders)
Add weekly items so you can check them off. (Set reminders)
Schedule meetings with people who can help you.
Schedule time to send someone a love note (filling up other people’s buckets will only help your cause.)
Schedule time to help others.
Sign up for that networking event you keep putting off.
Say yes to the friend who invites you out.
Write sticky notes and put them on your mirror.
Smile at yourself & say “hi sexy” before you leave the house.
Be ready for anything. Because anything can happen.
“Success is something you attract by the person you become.” – Jim Rohn
Now, let me be clear. Just because you want something doesn’t mean you’re going to get it. God, Spirit, The Universe, whatever you believe is out there giving you what you want – it might not be what they want for you. These things might not be the best thing – and you have to be ok with the fact that something better may show up – better, different, not-quite-exactly-as-you-planned. And that’s the fun of manifesting – we typically don’t know what we want because we can’t dream that big. Or we just aren’t dreaming big enough for the things we really deserve. But those will show up and we celebrate all of the loveliness that is manifested. And if bad things manifest – well, that’s a whole different blog post.
Get clear about what you want and then do the work to get what you want. Download the Manifest That Shit workbook and start manifesting that shit.
“It’s important to work together to ensure everyone has the opportunity to take time for themselves.”
– Michelle Lim Warner
Meet my neighbor, Michelle Lim Warner. Michelle owns DCanter Wine Boutique on Barracks Row here in DC with her husband. Together they are creating a powerhouse in the wine lifestyle market.
We hadn’t seen each other in awhile so it was great to do some catchup here on the podcast. She and her business have been undergoing some serious growth! Michelle has been branding her business like a branding pro – so much so that all of her new hires are so excited about the culture they have created together at DCanter – and the crazy part?! They were all customers FIRST!
This week, we talk about growing your team, using your growing team’s talent to help catapult your business, manifesting a work/life balance, and the commitment it takes to own a business with your spouse. First tip: take walking meetings! Listen in to find out why.
Watch her answer "What's one tip for building a better culture?":
“I stopped waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel and lit that bitch on fire.”
It’s my birthday today and I have to admit that I am enjoying the heck out of getting older. One year ago today I was preparing for a year of change. I was working out how to end a relationship, blow up my business, and unbeknownst to me, getting ready to dig deep into why I’m on this earth.
In celebration of this last year of blowing things up, here’s my birthday wish for you: I want YOU to light a huge blaze. I want you to make a decision to SHOW UP every day – beginning today.
My birthday wish is for you – the person who feels lost and empty, the human struggling to find out who you really are, the one who’s really trying to show up and show off. It’s time to light that shit on fire. My wish for you is to start showing up and showing off.
So, what are you waiting for? All it takes is one decision and one step.