DC has such a random weather pattern. One minute it's cloudy, the next it's bright and sunny. This morning, I went to the gym and it was humid and cloudy. When I walked out with fresh hair and makeup in my little black dress, it was pouring rain.

Since I took my walkabout, I've started showering most mornings at the gym. Either after a run outdoors or a hard weight workout. Normally I get ready pretty quickly but today I took care because Team Sisarina is being photographed as a full team and individually. I wanted to make sure I was finally having a good hair day.

Much to my chagrin, I did not bring an umbrella for the two-block walk back from the office to start my day. As I stood next to the door watching the rain come down, I mentioned to the Fitness First staff standing nearby that I normally didn't care about my hair but today was different.

One of the men said, "I have an umbrella. I can walk you to your office. I have 10 minutes anyway."

The woman at the desk, "...and people think chivalry is dead."

This man saved my pictures, saved my day and caused me to believe that good men do exist. He took time out of his day to save mine with a simple act. My turn to do it for someone else.

What can you do that will make someone's day so they can pass it on?

back in time: 11/25/2012

After enjoying a few days in Denver and realizing I just couldn't go to Portland on this trip, I jumped in the car on a Sunday morning and headed through the gorgeous Rockies toward Salt Lake City. I thought the Sierra Nevadas were gorgeous until I couldn't stop looking up at the Rockies. Taking sweet moments of time to take in the beauty, I found myself driving a little slower on the windy roads. The majesty of the mountains followed by the flatlands of Utah allowed me to think for half a day.

While en route, my plans fell through for a place to stay so I texted a friend from Salt Lake City who lives in Washington DC now to see if she had anyone I could stay with. She ended up calling her Grandmother and Marian (AKA Mim, pronounced Meem) invited me to stay with her for 2 nights. I found an Emergent church outside of SLC that meets in the evening and bought groceries before heading downtown to meet her.

What resulted was two evenings of getting to know the life of a well-lived 90 year old woman. She lives on the second floor of a building with no elevator. "Remember the song Head, Shoulders, Knees & Toes? That's where all my arthritis is." She has more energy than most 30 year olds. 

Inspirational is putting it lightly.

"When you've looked back and think it's been a long time, you also realize it's been short." - Marian Baldwin

QUIET:
"I meditate twice a day for 15 minutes. If I'm at a friend's house, I'll go into a closet and sit quietly. It helps keep my mind calm."

FRIENDS:
Marian's family moved to Missoula, Montana when she was a sophomore where her dad was the Director of the Chamber of Commerce. She and her best friend, Nelda, were "snotty little girls who would never go to a party unless two boys asked them on a double date." They felt they'd be safe with each other no matter what. 

Marian was a drum major in the school band and played piano for the orchestra between classes. She had great friends and a crush every week. She only wore Levis, no dresses in a time when all girls wore dresses. She played with all the boys in the neighborhood - biking, street games. "Boys were always more fun because I was into baseball and football."

"I joined the Kappas in my last two years of college, most of whom had known each other since grade school. There were 20 of us. We've been friends since. One moved away and three others have passed away. The youngest of us is 85 so it's bound to happen. Our families know each other, our kids and grandkids and great-grandkids know each other. We all meet once a month to see who is still alive. We talk about who is going through cancer, illness, surgery, and death. Those who can still drive pick the others up. Our kids all learned how to ski at Park City when it was $5 to ski all day. I'd sit in the ski lodge and read while my friends skied. We taught all of our kids how to hold onto friendships by holding onto ours."

PRAY:
"If I wake up and haven't prayed, I pray in the middle of the night."

Marian's mother learned the gospel, read the Bible, and was a very devout Mormon. When they lived in Wyoming, she remembers being 8 years old and asking her mother if she could be baptized although she had a bad cold. They called the stake president and he said "have faith she'll be alright." Marian asked her mom, "What is faith?" to which her mom replied "You will learn as you grow." She was dipped fully while being baptized in the coldest water in a white dress.

As she grew up, they lived in a place where there was no Mormon temple, so she went to church with her Presbyterian girlfriends because "girls want to do what their girlfriends do." Her mom told her to tell the Presbyterian Minister Hamlin she was Mormon and he said she was welcome to attend, sing, and play. Later, she went to a Catholic church with her friend Nelda but stopped at catechism. Her mother taught her a lot about acceptance without her even realizing it and the philosophy stayed with her all her life. 

LOVE:
Marian met her first husband in college when she was 20 at University of Montana. She had prayed a lot to meet someone and when they met it was like they'd always known each other.

"It was like being one, feeling like one person. We dated for two years and he never pushed me in bed. We just kissed a lot. It was like we almost knew what the other was thinking and I always felt taken care of.

"Bill went into going into the Army after we were married. He was in the 101st Airborne, ended up at the Battle of the Bulge. After being honored at West Point, he came home by train. I went to meet him at the train station in our beautiful baby blue convertible with white sidewalls, and his father and sister showed up. His father, who was in the specialty wheat business, was domineering and Bill chose to go with them instead of me, his wife. It was devastating.

"Once Bill was out of the Army, he went into business with his dad. One winter, I caught a really bad cold and ended up in the hospital with pneumonia. His father made him fly all over the US to buy machinery instead of allowing him to stay to take care of me. It pulled us apart.

"I kept asking Bill if we could go away for a weekend and work on our marriage. Get back to the love we once felt but his dad dominated his time so much that we never ended up seeing each other. I finally gave up and moved back to Salt Lake City.

"When I met my second husband, the boy next door, I thought 'I can love him.' You say that to yourself, but you really can't. About a year after we were married he told me 'I think you married me because you were lonely.' It was true. I was lonely. When you go to the temple, you get an endorsement and a recommendation. You are sealed to your husband in the hereafter but all I could think is 'don't seal me to him.'

"My second husband was a very fine lawyer, a great litigator, and a smart judge but as a person, I couldn't stand him. We had a tough marriage for 33 years but we had 4 children and later had 15 grandchildren and 15 great grandchildren. I wouldn't take back even one of my children, regardless of how hard things were."

TIPS: 

• Don't make the same mistakes twice. "I regret not letting myself force Bill to be with me."
• We're given our free agency and it's too bad we can't make better decisions.
• Love gives you a different feeling and you know what it is when you find it.

When I left Marian to head to Sacramento, she asked me to come back and said she was adopting me as one of her granddaughters. I know I have to go back and listen more. I will never forget my two nights with her.

pictured here from top: Mountains from Salt Lake City; Marian & me via iPhone; Marian & her granddaughter, Jana, on Marian's 90th birthday