Melanie Raw


The Beauty Is In The Mess

The Beauty Is In The Mess

“Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage.” – Brené Brown

When I think of Light, I first think of vulnerability. And when I think of vulnerability, I think of Lindsey. 

Lindsey and I met in a virtual Numerology class. We were both in the class for the same reason – to understand ourselves better. Every class, we’d see the other one making similar faces to our own – and they were so familiar that we knew we had to be friends. She lived in Portland, I lived in DC. Over the next two years, we became voicemail buddies. We’d leave 3-minute voicemails for each other and go deep. She shared about her divorce, I shared about my tough relationship. We were both entrepreneurs – struggling with similar issues. We felt like sisters. 

When we finally met each other in the flesh, we were deep into each others lives. We kept staring at each other with the “I know you” looks. Like we had been sisters in another lifetime. And yet, I know one thing about Lindsey – she’s willing to be vulnerable with anyone who wants it. Some might say it comes from her frequent attendance at Al-Anon meetings (the meetings for those with alcoholic loved ones) where she shares and listens. Or her desire to be a better human to her children, team, and friends by going to a therapist – sharing with others that it’s healthy to talk to someone about your feelings. Others may say it’s just who she is. No matter what, Lindsey is one of those people who will go deep with you – quickly. And she has no fear around it.

When Lindsey and I get busy with life and don’t get a chance to talk for awhile, we end up picking up conversation as quickly as if we talk every day. We go deep – FAST. We share our thoughts, give advice, and never judge. We’re fully vulnerable with each other because it’s who we are as humans. There are no boundaries – other than always coming from a place of love. Even when it’s hard.

Years ago, Lindsey realized she was holding a lot of anger and had been carrying it around with her infecting everything in her life. So, her therapist told her to get a metal folding chair, write her anger on it, and carry it with her for 40 days. She wanted Lindsey to see what her anger looked like physically.

Lindsey left her therapist’s office with an angry laughter telling herself that it was the dumbest idea she’d ever heard. She sat in her car for a moment realizing that everything her therapist said was true – even in how she was reacting. So, she told herself that she’d go to the thrift store on her drive home and IF there was a folding chair, she’d get it. A sweet little light blue folding chair was poised at the back of the store. She gave her money and left with it.

When she got home, she wrote ANGER & RAGE in big black markers all over a light blue chair. And although she had just started her own business, she decided to be REALLY vulnerable and take that chair to all of her meetings. She took it to big corporations for client meetings, to her office, to coffee with friends – it even stood next to her bed so she could see it when she woke up. She carried her anger with her physically – and watched how it banged into things, got in the way, and even became hard for others to avoid.

Lindsey ended up in the newspaper with her story and a local pastor asked her to come share her story with teens at his church. She took that chair and told her story – and brought paper copies of a blue folding chair for the teens. She asked them to write down something that got in their way, something they took everywhere with them – also something they wanted to release. At the end of the conversation with them, they helped her lay her chair on the altar of that church and let it go.

Lindsey told that story and many others on stage at SPEAK With Confidence. She gave everyone in the audience a different view of vulnerability. I still hear to this day from those in attendance that they’ve shared Lindsey’s story with others. Her story has ripple effects she will never see. Her story filled the room with Light – driving out the darkness so others could see that they needed to start looking at themselves more carefully.

By having the courage to share her story, Lindsey shared her Light with others. She gave others permission to see their own faults as works-in-progress. She gave them permission to do something about it.

Lindsey could have told a cleaner version of her story – she could have left out details, been less vulnerable, and given you a picture of her that could almost be untouchable. She could have also told you that her life is perfect now and she has it all figured out. Except that she will clearly tell you that she’s moved on to the next thing she’s working on – because she’s human.

The beauty of our lives is in the mess.

A lot of times we clean up our lives and our stories the same way we clean our houses for dinner guests. We tuck all the messy parts away so they don’t judge us. We hide all the things we don’t want them to see. Except that by cleaning up the stories of our lives, we also clean out the vulnerability.

Courage is hard work. Vulnerability is scary. AND it’s the most incredible tool for connection and growth.

So, I challenge you: If you have a story to tell that could help others, don’t censor it. Don’t clean it up. Don’t keep it to yourself. SHARE IT. Give the gory details. Be courageous and full of light – and know that you are right where you’re supposed to be.

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WRITE YOUR STORY: Jump into this FREE training about how to write a stage-worthy talk and get started mapping out your story. You don’t have to become a speaker to share your story – go to: stageworthytalk.com

Sandy & Melanie at SPEAK With Confidence

 

You have “eff you” rights.

You have “eff you” rights.

“At some point you just have to let go of what you thought should happen and live in what is happening.” – Anonymous

What a time to live in the moment. Here we all are wishing this pandemic away – wishing for less isolation & more “normal.” But remember back before this when we all wished we had less “busy” & more time. We wanted more time for the things we enjoy, the people we love, and the life we wanted to lead. We complained because we had too much on our plates. We said no to things we wanted to do because of things we HAD to do.

Before this, if I asked how you were doing, you might say “busy.” EVERYONE was “busy.” We all lived the life of busy looking longingly at our Instagram feeds watching friends who were traipsing around the world living life on vacation. I would be busy creating new slides on an airplane. I’d be taking all sorts of immune boosters while jet-setting to Wisconsin, Michigan, and Iowa landing in rainstorms or blizzards to get in late and wake up early to Keynote a conference. Then I’d turn around and head to the next thing. I was too busy to get prepared ahead of time. Client work, being high-touch with my Rockstars, and answering a million questions were my “busy.”

Last year at our 2020 company planning meeting, we came up with this grand list of things to accomplish this year only to cut most of it out as the year kicked off with a bang. I had so many speaking gigs lined up that everything that wasn’t required got moved to later in the year. My husband and I set plans to move to Western New York for the summer to write our books. Then the world shifted.

We plan. God laughs.
(Yiddish proverb)

I could sit here and complain. I could say, “but I had all these plans and all this income – all of that’s gone.” I could take up a new hobby or start cleaning out my house. I could sleep in. I could go to bed early. I could read more. I could pretend I’m retired and just wait it out.

Instead, I’m busy doing the things I WANT to do. I GET to be home doing these things. I GET to put my time into the content so many humans need from me. I GET to spend time making inspiring posts, courses, videos, and images. I GET to play piano more. I GET to inspire humans by sharing my vulnerable self – the good, the bad, and the grown-out puffy hair.

Normally, I feel required to do things – things that take up ALL of my time. Getting talks and slides and content together for people based on their timelines. Giving people feedback based on their deadlines. Giving everyone what they need – because they’re the clients and I want to make them happy. And yet, I know every moment I spend giving my all to everyone else is a moment I take away from giving what my soul tells me to give.

We all have choices about how we spend our time. Sure, we have kids, animals, significant others, friends, family, etc. We were told to work from home, parent from home, school from home, create from home, stay home – AND we have the “eff you” rights to do what we want while we’re home.

My husband has to remind me often that I have “eff you” rights. This means that as adults, we get to say no to anything. (Obviously, that doesn’t mean being an idiot and putting other people in danger, so please don’t fight me on this if you’re doing dumb shit.)

You can step out of the group you’ve been in for years because it doesn’t fit you anymore. You can leave the job that makes you hate Mondays. You can walk out of the relationship that doesn’t serve you anymore. You can stop speaking to people who don’t make you feel good – even those related to you (ok, especially those ones.) You can refuse a client because it doesn’t fit your bigger plan. You can stop reading a book if you’re bored with it. You can change your major in college because it wasn’t what you expected. You can stop doing ANYTHING you want – even if you were the one who chose to do it in the first place.

You always have "eff you" rights. I give you permission to apply them liberally.

I’m currently sitting in the middle of a day that NOTHING was other people planned for me. After 6 weeks of being busier than ever, I’m in full creation mode. The things I’ve been busy with outside of speaking webinars is creating my own stuff. I’ve been creating webinars like How To Not Be Weird On Zoom and online courses like Rock Your Videos and blog posts like this one that will turn into chapters of my book.

Today, my creation-mode looks like building out a collaborative course called Rock The Stage with Sandy Sponaugle and Michelle Arnold. Everything speakers need to get ready for the stage, do on stage, and then do after the stage – virtual or in-person. This was the HUGE project we put on hold for later in the year – and were given the time to do it now.

What’s even crazier is that this morning – THIS MORNING – I got a call from one of my Rockstars (now a super close friend), Dr. Becca Whittaker, asking what she should do next with her speaking. She was ready to take on the huge task of getting herself out there in front of the humans who need her. And I was in the middle of my weird full day of creation saying to myself, “Wait, I have nothing to do but create this course?! How is that possible? Let me distract myself with a billion other things.” Her call reminded me that I GET to create this thing. I GET to give this collaborative knowledge to the world through these incredible I’ve collected over the years. Because PEOPLE NEED THIS. 

I don’t HAVE to do anything I don’t want to do. I don’t have to do what I am doing right now – I GET to do it. FINALLY. I can say no to anything else that doesn’t feel good – even if that means turning down money I really need. I have “eff you” rights. YOU have “eff you” rights. I give you permission to apply them LIBERALLY.

It’s been almost 2 months since someone called this pandemic situation our #newnormal (I’d like to punch that guy.) But for me, it’s been over 20 years of me deciding what I want to do. Whether I want to do what others tell me to do OR do what I want. Which means nothing has changed during this crazy time – except my perspective. I GET to do this – or I GET to say “eff you.”

YOUR TURN:

  • Look at the LIFE you’re leading now and ask yourself:
    Are these my decisions or did someone else make them for me?
  • Look at your CALENDAR and ask yourself:
    Did I create this schedule or are others dictating it?
  • Look at the PEOPLE around you and ask yourself:
    Did I choose these people or did they just happen to be here?
  • Look at YOURSELF and ask:
    Am I who I want to be or do I need to change something?

This is your life. Your choice. As Mark Batterson says, “you’re just one decision away from a totally different life.”

Use your “eff you” rights.
Start over.
Do something different.
Shake it up.
Choose a different path.
This is your life.
You only have one.
Do it your way.
xoxo

 

 

This one’s for every woman who doesn’t love her body

This one’s for every woman who doesn’t love her body

I’m a grown-ass human & I can do whatever I want.

“You’re much better in short sprints.” – my trainer on how I kick my ass into gear. Right now, I’m exactly 5 months from turning 40. It’s only been about 8 months since I wore a knockout wedding dress in which I felt like a badass goddess. I had picked a dress that didn’t fit me at the time and wasn’t interested in altering the dress – I knew I could get my body into that dress. I worked my TAIL off because we figured out how I focused best. My trainer, Kyle Brown, figured out that short sprints with big deadlines were my best bet.

The day of my wedding, I walked out to a group of my best girlfriends and heard one say, “That dress was made for your body.” My response: “Nope, my body was made for this dress.”

8 months later, I know I wouldn’t fit in that dress the same way. I just hired a cardio coach to get me back to running and cycling. So, when I got up today, I decided it was time to track my progress. I had my husband take a set of photos of me in a sports bra and shorts. I didn’t think about it until I uploaded them to the training app. A notice came up that said I just had to scroll left to compare. I scrolled over to see pics of me right before the wedding. That wasn’t the best idea. I’m not “overweight” (whatever that means these days) – and based on how my relatives look, I doubt I could gain all that much. I was born to a tall skinny family, weighed way too little in high school because I grew too fast, and stayed pretty lanky through my 20’s into my 30’s. If you saw the pictures, you’d wonder if there was much of a difference. To me? Demoralizing. 

You see, I’m sitting in my home on a forced day off after 4 weeks of crushing my job during the COVID-19 quarantine. I’m exhausted, overworked, eating gummy bears by the handful, and sipping martinis as if I am still 25. Although I’ve been handling this pandemic pretty well, the 5lb bag of gummy bears could say otherwise.

I’ve been off synthetic birth control for the last few months. It doesn’t seem like a big deal, but I’m recovering from 20 years of those little pills and an IUD. My body is still trying to acclimate – yet, somehow my mood got right on it. I’ve only been upset twice since that day at the Gynocologist when she took that painful little device out of me and dangled it from forceps near my face. (Yeah, she was horrible.)

My body has basically been on the rebound since. It started craving more sleep, more sugar, and more touch. My skin is so much more sensitive and I’m taking more naps. (By more naps, I just mean naps – I’ve NEVER been a napper.) And like I said, my mood is on point. I’m not sure what I was thinking all those years, but I swore I was naturally moody until I took myself off birth control. Just since meeting my husband, I’ve broken at least 3 doorjambs from slamming our apartment doors. Getting angry for things I later couldn’t understand.

Now, I’m asking myself better questions about how I feel, why I feel that way, and how my boundaries got pushed. THEN responding. It’s a beautiful awareness – and I’m sure it’s more than just a change in hormones, but I’ll attribute most of my generally happy humanity to being myself without additional hormones.

When I was at the gyno’s office, she made a HUGE point of making sure I knew that my body will just change and I’ll have to get used to that. This coming from a 50-something Gynocologist with the body-fat of an Olympic swimmer who says she does Pilates every day. I wasn’t sure whether to take what she said as sarcasm or just general lack of bedside manner. I then heard the same thing from friends over 40. And the way they said it, it sounded as if they should be saying, “tsk tsk.” As if turning 40 was my limit.

When did I stop being a “baby” with everyone telling me everything I need to know because I obviously know nothing to being “too old” and obviously still knowing nothing about my own body? Can we start a conversation about boundaries? A

lso, isn’t it 2020? Isn’t 40 the new 30 or something?

Why do people say shit like that anyway? As if every human body is the same. Grr…

I am not afraid of 40. I’ll do everything it takes to hit my 40’s with a rockin’ bod and healthy lifestyle. I’d much rather go into it with 5 extra pounds and a much happier mental space. So, back to this demoralizing situation – the one where I uploaded photos of myself to this app after 4 weeks of being stuck at home without a gym and with whacky Denver weather (it’s snowing today, btw.)

The thing the photos don’t show is that I’m more mentally stable than I would have been had I stayed on synthetic hormones. I’m an entrepreneur who just lost 100% of my income because all of my business is done in-person. I’m not freaking out about money or paying my team. I’m not worrying about this pandemic causing me to get a job. And I’m also thrilled that I don’t have to travel all that much right now. Sure, I’ve cried a few times from being overwhelmed or worried, but so has every single person who isn’t pretending this isn’t happening.

The best part: my husband has become my workout buddy again. He’s rocking TRX and bodyweight workouts and doing yoga with me in our living room. We’re connecting more. I even told him how I felt about the photos and he said, “You’re sexier than ever and I always want to jump you.”

On top of that, the cardio coach I just hired, she responded to my “I’ve got a new goal for when I turn 40” with “Ooh yeah!! Some of my running friends said when they turned 40 they started having the best running years and being in the best shape of their life.” JUST what a 39yo demoralized woman needed to hear. Thank you, Laura. (If you need a cardio push, check her out: laurasconley.com)

So, what would happen if we all stopped bitching about our bodies and started praising our mental health? What if we learned that our weight wasn’t a sign of health as much as our lack of slamming doors? WHAT IF we started saying nice things about our bodies – and fired anyone who says otherwise? (Gynocologists with no tact included.)

I’m in it. Right now. Feeling every bit of feeling in how my upper belly sits on my lower belly. How my under-boobs sit on my upper belly. And how my love handles are pushing out next to my elbows. All those squishy parts I’m not super psyched about. AND I’m feeling how I don’t want to hit something, punch someone, throw something, or slam something.

I can drink less martinis. I can stop getting a fistful of gummy bears every time I get a craving. I can stop baking cookies. AND I’m grateful I gave myself the space to indulge and take stock in how grateful I am for being able to do those things (even if we’ve finally run out of toilet paper – it’s all a balance, right?) I can remind myself that I loved every sip and every bite. I’m a grown-ass human and I can do whatever I want.

AND I can go to sleep earlier. I can work out. I can run. I can ride my bike. I can make healthy meals. I can focus on what’s good for my body and my mental health. Which means I can also still sip wine when I want.

I have 5 months of sprinting ahead. 5 months of “here comes 40.” And 5 more monthly pictures of me in my shorts and sports bra to show myself that I don’t have to do it perfectly. 5 months of heading toward a goal I’ve set for myself. 5 months to prove to myself that I REALLY want to live a life without limits. 5 months to accepting that perfection is not interesting. 5 more months of not getting mad for no reason.

Cheers, Kickass Humans. To a life without limits.      

 

VIDEO: It’s not my job to change your life.

VIDEO: It’s not my job to change your life.

It was 90+ degrees of hit-you-in-the-face humidity. I’m standing outside with 15 other women doing yoga. We’re halfway around the world in Bali being asked to finish the statement, “I am ____” with whatever phrase we’ve been told about ourselves. I started running through my words: badass, strong, tall, hardcore, busy… until I landed on it. “Too much.” I am TOO MUCH.

Since I was kid, I was told I was too tall, too skinny, too antsy, too talkative, too much. I realized then that “I am too much” was the same as “I am not enough.” It was just spelled differently. It was a label that had been put on me by family, schoolmates, friends, others. One that would now be labeled “extra,” but never had a positive flair in my younger years.

At the end of class, the same teacher asked us to think of the same phrase and fill in the blank with whatever we WANTED to believe about ourselves. I was reminded of a poem a friend sent me that morning.

“She is free in her wildness,
she is a wanderess,
a drop of free water.
She belongs to no man and to no city.”
– Roman Payne

I went back to my original list of things others had told me – and saw myself so differently, yet the same. “I am wild and free” came to me and I held onto it with all my might. I looked at the phrase, “I am too much” and noticed how “I am wild and free” was a positive spin on the negativity I’d held onto for so long.

Just two years later at big tech summit, I was asked to be one of their opening keynote speakers. My talk was very much business focused – about branding and storytelling. Yet before I got on stage, I reminded myself that I was speaking to humans. And humans don’t compartmentalize their humanity. 

As I stood up to speak, I started with this story of me standing in this yoga class in Bali. As I finished the story, I asked them to stand up with me and think of the thing they’ve been told their whole lives – the thing they wanted to stop believing. As they stood before me with their arms at their sides and their eyes closed, I watched them transform from an audience to humans. I asked them to write down their unwanted phrase and then went on with my talk.

It wasn’t until the end of my talk on brand storytelling that I asked them to stand with me again. I asked them to fill in the “I am ___” with something they WANTED to believe about themselves. The thing that they wanted others to know about them. The brand they wanted to become. I saw tears, smiles, and worry. I asked them to write down this new statement and reminded them that they were already what they hoped to be.

“You told us to say what we WANT to believe about ourselves and I started crying.”

My favorite part of speaking is when I’m done. Sure, I love the speaking part – yet I crave the hugs, the conversation, and the big realizations that come afterward – sometimes weeks later. If they don’t FEEL something, I know I haven’t hit my impact mark.

You see, way before I go up on a stage, I have to first think about the impact I want to make on my audience. I have to know how my talk will make them feel something. It has to cause them to think differently, feel the feelings, or grow in a new direction. It’s not my job to “change their lives.” That’s up to them. It’s my job as a speaker to inspire them to make that change. I am not a god. I cannot change them. Only they can do that.

As I got off that big stage and went to the back where I give away inspirational stickers, I was stopped more times than I’ve ever been stopped before. The conference organizers told me later that the conference speaker coach was taking more notes while watching me than they’d ever seen, yet that wasn’t the impact I was looking to make. Sure, it made my ego soar – but what I was really looking for was bigger than that.

As a quiet line formed in front of me, I saw the faces of the humans I was speaking to – many tear-stained. The impact I had focused on making had happened. Not the tears, but the inspired faces.

I heard whispered stories that day of mothers who said, “I am a good mother” at the beginning. And ended with “I am a great mother.” They told me about being in relationships that needed to end. About deciding to believe they were enough. About getting up the gumption to ask for the job they really wanted. About stopping the cycle of negativity. About learning to love their bodies. Men and women alike. All deciding they wanted to change the “brand” they carried with them – in their personal AND professional lives.

I got pulled into conversations the rest of the day about everything under the sun. All from a talk about brand storytelling. Because I was willing to be vulnerable and share myself – my insecurities – with them.

Business isn’t always about business. We speak to humans. We are not gods – we can’t change lives. And yet, it is up to us, as speakers, to provide the space for them to decide what they want to change. It’s up to us to know the impact we want to make – and then go out there and make it.

Are you ready to make them FEEL? I’m ready to help you make your impact.

I’ve created a free training just for you! Check out How To Write A Stage-Worthy Talk In Under 45 Minutes at stageworthytalk.com and get started writing your talk.

 

 

Dear Melanie, you’ll be WAY cooler.

Dear Melanie, you’ll be WAY cooler.

You’re not getting older, you’re getting cooler. 

 

All I’m seeing right now are decade reviews and humans saying “resolutions are dumb.” It’s a LOT of judgment on others, without even realizing it. It’s also a lot of highlight reels or “this was the worst year.” It’s just a lot.

Do you really remember where you were 10 years ago today without looking at your Facebook memories? Do you remember how you were feeling? What you were addicted to? WHO you were addicted to? The shit you said to yourself when you looked in the mirror? The belief system that drove you? The loneliness you felt, even in your relationship? The guilt you felt for that thing you hate about yourself? The friends you had? The friends you left?

Most of us have a hard time remembering how we felt 6 months ago. We look at our 2019 in review and think about only the darkest and brightest moments. It’s a survival mechanism that allows us to keep moving – or that holds us back. We forget about the stuff that doesn’t matter. Except that the stuff we forget is a lot of the stuff that matters. The FEELINGS are what we forget.

10 years ago today, I was only 8 months into my business after losing my job. I had just paid off my student loans and my car, had just opened my first office in Bethesda, Maryland and felt lonely, isolated, unfocused, and unhealthy. My best friend was about to die unexpectedly and my other two best friends would walk away from my life two weeks later. I wouldn’t go deep with anyone for a very long time. I would be an emotional wreck without a support system while looking like I had TONS of friends.

10 years ago today, I had just started running races and realized how much they were a respite for me in entrepreneurship. I was only at the beginning of feeling healthy in my body, except I was a mess emotionally. I was still going back and forth in a relationship that was emotionally abusive and taxing on my system. I ended up hiring my pastor’s wife as my first employee (who thought I was a nut-job for staying with him until she found out years later why I felt I had to). I was even told by my then boyfriend that I only went to networking events to meet men (when in reality, I was going because they served free food & I was broke.) I hated him, yet was addicted to how I felt when I was with him. Ashamed, yet wanted. Mostly.

photo by Mary Gardella

5 years later, the picture above was taken on my first real photoshoot with Mary Gardella. She took me to a warehouse freight elevator near her studio in Baltimore and made me feel like a model. I had just finished the Live Your Brand Tour, still wasn’t talking to my mom, and was doing everything I could to keep my business and team intact. We were making over half a million in revenue and my inbox was a daily dumpster fire. I wanted out, yet had NO idea what that would look like.

Until this photo was taken, I’d had people I didn’t even know tell me that my chin was too big for profile shots, my body was shaped weirdly, my height was a distraction, my crooked nose didn’t fit my face, and my tattoos would make me look manly. Except they were all wrong – and I had to realize that their comments had NOTHING to do with me.

This photo captures me feeling damn sexy. Simple, yet damn sexy. White t-shirt, jeans, and chucks – standing in a dirty elevator being ONLY my badass self. I felt like an effing model. Mary Gardella is one of the few humans who has ONE incredible purpose and she’s MASTERED it. She makes you feel like yourself – amplified.

It wouldn’t be until 5 years later – right about now – that I would realize my sole purpose – to amplify humans. To make sure humans become their full selves in whatever way that means for them – without judgment. Even my Crew of badass ladies boldly told me that it was my gift to put incredible humans into the same room and allow them the safe space to be who they were meant to be. I accept this fully.

Right now, we amplify humans through my keynote speaking, sharing free workbooks & courses & our in-person trainings. I’m sure 10 years from now, it’ll look TOTALLY different, but for right now, I have a 2020 mission – to amplify 7320 humans. 

Will you help me reach 7320 humans this year? Create your Life Vision & then share the free workbook. Come to a speaker training retreat in Denver this year. Learn to write a stage-worthy talk in under 45 minutes & share it with your friends. Get your company to bring us in for a corporate training. Learn more about your business brand & start sharing yourself with the world. I can’t do this all on my own – and we can’t do it without you.

I turn 40 in 2020. 9 months from now, I’ll officially be in my 40’s. I think that’s about the time everyone stops telling me “you’re still a kid” and I realize that I’ve finally become old enough to know better. (Is there a point that people tell you you’re old enough!? I digress.) Now, as I’m about to hit the end of another decade of my own life, I’ve decided that I’m not getting older, I’m getting COOLER.

If I could go back to tell my 29-year-old Melanie anything, I’d let her know that everything will be WAY better than she ever imagined. She’d have her dream husband, dream apartment, her dog wouldn’t be a dick (thanks to Prozac), her business would be helping humans become Rockstars, and she’d get to go on her dream vacations.

I’d also let her know that she would still be stressed out about money, would still wish her body was more fit, would still want to get rid of her forehead wrinkles, would still have a hard time sleeping, and would still wish she had a few friends to go see girly movies with. And yet, everyone else has similar wishes, stressors, and issues. Because while Facebook and Instagram are filtered and highlight reels, EVERYONE – and I repeat, EVERYONE – has issues.

So, let’s all work together on being less frustrated with ourselves, more hopeful about the human race, and more focused on how we can better ourselves so we can better the world. Because we’re not getting older, we’re getting cooler. Together.

To being grown-ass humans who love and accept ourselves in 2020.
xoxo

 

 

 

 

Making Courage Out Of Fear

Making Courage Out Of Fear

“Courage is resistance to fear.

Mastery of fear.

NOT absence of fear.” – Mark Twain

It’s a Monday morning. I’ve been up since 4 am feeling stuck. Sitting in one of the scariest emotions ever – FEAR. I’m scared of my own self-induced changes – and there’s been A LOT of them. I’m scared of having them all fail. And if you read my post, I wanna see you be brave, you’ll see I’m also afraid of them succeeding.

I’ve had a lot of time to think about fear. My relationship with it, its purpose in my life, and how to keep going with it instead of letting it hold me back. I’ve come to the conclusion that we don’t have any answers about overcoming it – or if we even should. But I do have some ideas about how we can sit in our fear, move forward with it, and allow fear to bring out our most courageous sides.

“All you have to do is have the courage to ask for help. The courage to want more for yourself. The courage to let go of the fact that this fear has control.”​

Listen to the podcast to find out more.

Featured in the podcast is Wim Hof – get some of him here.

Podcast production by Javy Espejo


 

Find out more: http://brandventurespodcast.com

Subscribe on SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/brandventures

Kickass Humans Club: http://kickasshumansclub.com​