You’re not getting older, you’re getting cooler.
All I’m seeing right now are decade reviews and humans saying “resolutions are dumb.” It’s a LOT of judgment on others, without even realizing it. It’s also a lot of highlight reels or “this was the worst year.” It’s just a lot.
Do you really remember where you were 10 years ago today without looking at your Facebook memories? Do you remember how you were feeling? What you were addicted to? WHO you were addicted to? The shit you said to yourself when you looked in the mirror? The belief system that drove you? The loneliness you felt, even in your relationship? The guilt you felt for that thing you hate about yourself? The friends you had? The friends you left?
Most of us have a hard time remembering how we felt 6 months ago. We look at our 2019 in review and think about only the darkest and brightest moments. It’s a survival mechanism that allows us to keep moving – or that holds us back. We forget about the stuff that doesn’t matter. Except that the stuff we forget is a lot of the stuff that matters. The FEELINGS are what we forget.
10 years ago today, I was only 8 months into my business after losing my job. I had just paid off my student loans and my car, had just opened my first office in Bethesda, Maryland and felt lonely, isolated, unfocused, and unhealthy. My best friend was about to die unexpectedly and my other two best friends would walk away from my life two weeks later. I wouldn’t go deep with anyone for a very long time. I would be an emotional wreck without a support system while looking like I had TONS of friends.
10 years ago today, I had just started running races and realized how much they were a respite for me in entrepreneurship. I was only at the beginning of feeling healthy in my body, except I was a mess emotionally. I was still going back and forth in a relationship that was emotionally abusive and taxing on my system. I ended up hiring my pastor’s wife as my first employee (who thought I was a nut-job for staying with him until she found out years later why I felt I had to). I was even told by my then boyfriend that I only went to networking events to meet men (when in reality, I was going because they served free food & I was broke.) I hated him, yet was addicted to how I felt when I was with him. Ashamed, yet wanted. Mostly.
5 years later, the picture above was taken on my first real photoshoot with Mary Gardella. She took me to a warehouse freight elevator near her studio in Baltimore and made me feel like a model. I had just finished the Live Your Brand Tour, still wasn’t talking to my mom, and was doing everything I could to keep my business and team intact. We were making over half a million in revenue and my inbox was a daily dumpster fire. I wanted out, yet had NO idea what that would look like.
Until this photo was taken, I’d had people I didn’t even know tell me that my chin was too big for profile shots, my body was shaped weirdly, my height was a distraction, my crooked nose didn’t fit my face, and my tattoos would make me look manly. Except they were all wrong – and I had to realize that their comments had NOTHING to do with me.
This photo captures me feeling damn sexy. Simple, yet damn sexy. White t-shirt, jeans, and chucks – standing in a dirty elevator being ONLY my badass self. I felt like an effing model. Mary Gardella is one of the few humans who has ONE incredible purpose and she’s MASTERED it. She makes you feel like yourself – amplified.
It wouldn’t be until 5 years later – right about now – that I would realize my sole purpose – to amplify humans. To make sure humans become their full selves in whatever way that means for them – without judgment. Even my Crew of badass ladies boldly told me that it was my gift to put incredible humans into the same room and allow them the safe space to be who they were meant to be. I accept this fully.
Right now, we amplify humans through my keynote speaking, sharing free workbooks & courses & our in-person trainings. I’m sure 10 years from now, it’ll look TOTALLY different, but for right now, I have a 2020 mission – to amplify 7320 humans.
Will you help me reach 7320 humans this year? Create your Life Vision & then share the free workbook. Come to a speaker training retreat in Denver this year. Learn to write a stage-worthy talk in under 45 minutes & share it with your friends. Get your company to bring us in for a corporate training. Learn more about your business brand & start sharing yourself with the world. I can’t do this all on my own – and we can’t do it without you.
I turn 40 in 2020. 9 months from now, I’ll officially be in my 40’s. I think that’s about the time everyone stops telling me “you’re still a kid” and I realize that I’ve finally become old enough to know better. (Is there a point that people tell you you’re old enough!? I digress.) Now, as I’m about to hit the end of another decade of my own life, I’ve decided that I’m not getting older, I’m getting COOLER.
If I could go back to tell my 29-year-old Melanie anything, I’d let her know that everything will be WAY better than she ever imagined. She’d have her dream husband, dream apartment, her dog wouldn’t be a dick (thanks to Prozac), her business would be helping humans become Rockstars, and she’d get to go on her dream vacations.
I’d also let her know that she would still be stressed out about money, would still wish her body was more fit, would still want to get rid of her forehead wrinkles, would still have a hard time sleeping, and would still wish she had a few friends to go see girly movies with. And yet, everyone else has similar wishes, stressors, and issues. Because while Facebook and Instagram are filtered and highlight reels, EVERYONE – and I repeat, EVERYONE – has issues.
So, let’s all work together on being less frustrated with ourselves, more hopeful about the human race, and more focused on how we can better ourselves so we can better the world. Because we’re not getting older, we’re getting cooler. Together.
To being grown-ass humans who love and accept ourselves in 2020.