Own Your Boss-Ness

October 15, 2018

“You must expect failure as part of your journey of success, failure and success go hand in hand, you cannot have one without the other.” - Richard Parkes Cordock

 
Failure sucks. Thoroughly, painfully sucks. No one wants to fail - we all want to succeed. And we talk about success all the time - about how it’s not really failure, it’s just a pivot. “I’ve never failed, I’ve just pivoted.” That’s cute - pivoting is actually what we learn to do from failure. 
 
It’s amazing how much we hear about success - but rarely hear about failure. We hear about how people made it but not the parts where they almost didn’t. It’s always so glamorous when someone writes a book about how to do it the right way - and then you wonder how they figured it out - and then wonder what's wrong with you. It’s disheartening for struggling business owners and CEOs to think they’re the only one failing because "everyone else" is a "huge success." 
 
According to the Small Business Association (SBA), 30% of new businesses fail during the first two years of being open, 50% during the first five years and 66% during the first 10. So, let’s hear THOSE stories. Then we won’t feel like we’re failing alone.
 
I’ve made it WAY past my own definition of failure - QUITTING - mostly because, for me, there is no Plan B. This business doesn’t look anything like it did when I started. I’ve quit parts of it, failed at other parts, and succeeded more than I ever expected. All of that led me to pivot hard and do something much more in line with who I am as a human. (read: Give me 1 hour, I'll give you 9 years)
 
When I asked my Crew what they wanted to get out of our first real company retreat, every one of them said “defined vision & defined roles for every person.” Even ME! I want to know where we’re going and what everyone is doing to help us get there. I don’t have an exact plan myself since it’s been evolving so much. I want to make sure I have a Crew that will help me define where WE want to go. They will help me put the pieces together but at the end of the day, I’m still the Boss Lady.
 
Speaking of Boss Lady, it’s almost been 10 years of being her. Being the boss comes with SO many ups & downs and typically ends up being quite lonely. I’ve failed SO miserably and succeeded in ways I never thought I could. I’ve had lots of cash in the bank, while other times I’ve had to pray for it. I’ve always made payroll but not always for myself. I’ve made bad hiring decisions AND really amazing ones. I thought I knew where we were going and then realized I had no idea. I quit my business twice - and still wasn’t sure what I wanted to do next.
 
When you start your business in your 20’s, you look back and wonder how anyone thought you were smart enough to do any of this. I never wanted to be the "boss," but over time I’ve realized I ACTUALLY never want to be a manager. I fully believe everyone should do their job, make their paycheck, and keep growing. I hustle my face off, so why wouldn’t everyone else? Oh yeah, because if I don’t show them how to, give them the opportunity to do so, and give them an incentive to do it, why would they bother? 
 
We all have to show up for ourselves. Whether we’re the boss, the assistant, the manager, or the helping hand. We’re all human - no one is BETTER than another and no one person is MORE IMPORANT than another. We all have to do our jobs in order for the whole business to work. We all have to put in the time & effort and keep growing. As the boss, we set the example for everyone else. When we set a bad example, it’s up to us to own it and grow from it so our teams can follow along with us.
 
This week we host our 4th SPEAK With Confidence - an event I never planned on creating, a methodology I never planned to write, and a course I never wanted to create. It was never in my plans, yet it’s been the most rewarding business venture we’ve ever taken on. It fits my skillset and my team does an amazing job of supporting me in it - even those who come in from other businesses to share their own expertise.
 
Now that I own the fact that we’re doing this, I’m starting to see the holes in my planning. I’m starting to see that as much as the event is the most fulfilling thing I’ve ever done, it drains every bit of my energy and adds way more stress beforehand than anything else. And there’s a reason.
 

A goal is just a wish without a plan.
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

 
When I asked my entrepreneur mom for feedback for our corporate retreat, she said: “At the end of the day, Melanie is the boss. And she needs to be respected as the boss, referred to as the boss & regarded as the boss.” Now I want that on a t-shirt.
 
The biggest reason I have never been “the boss” is because I made a decision 10 years ago that I never wanted to be a “boss.” I didn’t want to be the quintessential horror reigning over everyone with an iron fist. The best bosses I ever had never acted like the “boss,” but I never knew if they regarded themselves as the boss either. So, I never owned my own boss-ness. 
 
I wanted to build a company and I felt like everyone I hired would just own their shit & do their job. Why would they need a boss?! We did everything we were “supposed to do” like create job descriptions, set up processes & systems, and make sure everyone knew what to do. I made all the big decisions and owned all of the failures while being grateful to my team for all of the successes, but I missed the biggest piece of all. I guess I kept waiting for the real boss to show up and take over. 
 
Which left me sitting here wondering how I’ve had a company this long without being the boss. It was actually really easy - I WORKED MY ASS OFF. Hustled my face off. And learned how to live in a constant state of stress. I built myself a perpetual job instead of building a sustainable company that was focused & set up so that everyone was able to succeed. Including me.
 
Guess who’s owning their boss-ness now?! *raises both hands** YES! Me!
 
Maybe it took my mom saying something - or even my team mentioning it (over and over and over) for me to realize they would follow me wherever I went - as long as I finally took the reigns and got us somewhere. 
 

So, what does it mean to own my boss-ness? 

 
Being the boss is however we want to define it. There is no ONE way to be the boss. As long as we own being the boss. It really comes from who you are as a human - and I have a big idea of what I’ve been missing this whole time. So, I’m going to write it down and own it - and you can all hold me accountable to it. (You can write yours down too - I am more than happy to help you own it!) 
 
Ready?
 

MELANIE IS THE BOSS LADY

In order for Melanie to be the boss lady, she has to: 

1. Slow down. 
- Be willing to put herself first.
- Block time on the calendar just for what she wants to do.
- Make time for creativity.
- Learn to be proactive, not reactive.

2. Create real, tangible goals for herself.
- Understand what her perfect life looks like.
- Set deadlines for each goal.
- Set up regular calls with her mentor.
- Create accountability for herself.

3. Create real goals for her company.
- Work with her Crew to create tangible, big plans.
- Set up processes & systems for all aspects of the business with her Crew.
- Write job descriptions for every person on the team (even the future ones.)
- Create accountability structures for everyone, including herself.

4. Keep growing.
- Learn something new.
- Read the books on her bookshelf.
- Write the damn book. (Gisell, look!) 
- Take a walk & enjoy time away from the internet.

5. Inspire her Crew.
- Make sure everyone is in the right place.
- Create team goals for growth.
- Set weekly/monthly meetings for check-ins.
- Schedule fun trips throughout the year for brainstorming & relaxing.


Success & failure go hand-in-hand, sure. Yet, when you have the right team and the team is inspired because the boss is inspired, success is inevitable. Which means I have to own up to being the boss & give my Crew the success they deserve. 
 
Hi, I’m Melanie Spring and I’m the Boss Lady. 
Now, what are YOU going to do to own your boss-ness?
xoxo
 
 
 

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