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VIDEO: It’s NOT about YOU!

“Was that ok?”

I watched her back stage talking about the pools of sweat forming in her shoes. I watched her walk onto the stage with pure, unadulterated confidence. Who was this person freaking out behind the scenes, yet cool as a cucumber in front of the audience? Her name is Dr. Becca Whittaker. Dr. Becca is a chiropractor turned functional medicine doctor who is on a mission to heal the world. No level of sweaty shoes will stop her from walking her talk.

Have you ever met a person so full of power and grace that you just know you are in the presence of greatness? That’s who Dr. Becca is to me. She’s a force to be reckoned with – a person with immense talent… and yet, doubts herself so deeply.

When she first came to our SPEAK With Confidence retreat, she came because she heard me speak at a conference for doctors. As soon as I finished my talk on branding, she came up to me and said, “I want to do what you just did.” It wasn’t that she wanted to talk about branding – she decided she wanted to own the room and share her own knowledge the way I was able to share mine.

What I didn’t know at the time was that she had more talent in her little finger than most speakers have in their whole bodies – and yet she wasn’t 100% sure she was going to be great.

The first time I watched her speak, I saw her charisma flowing through her veins into the audience. She held herself so confidently, spoke with ease, and delivered with power. She knew her content. I watched it flow through her and out of her as if it was second nature. She was born for the stage. It made me doubt myself. I almost became unsure of my own ability to train her. Until she walked off stage and said, “was that ok?” ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? That was INCREDIBLE!

When we worry about what others THINK of us, we doubt ourselves. Our self-doubt is what can keep us from getting on a stage. Our self-doubt can keep us from doing what we’re meant to do.

So, what if we flipped it. What if we asked ourselves “How will this talk impact me?”

In one of my recent posts, I talked about asking yourself about your impact on your audience. It was all about how we want our audience to FEEL. In this one, I want you to ask yourself about the impact on YOU. The feelings YOU will have when you’re done.

Like most of us, Dr. Becca was the only standing between her and what she needed to say. Those little voices inside her head kept telling her that she wasn’t the woman for the job. And yet, she KNEW it was her moment.

What if you started your next talk, webinar, social media post, video, or conference call thinking: “How will this impact me?”

You could answer that you want more clients for your company, more money for your team, more work for you. If any of these is the reason you’re speaking, please stop speaking. Immediately. If you’ve been up on a stage with money in mind, I’ve seen you and you were TERRIBLE. It felt the same way as when I bought my last used car. Gross.

The impact I’m talking about is this: I could give them something they never thought of. I could teach them something that could save their business. I could make them rethink their business model and make more of their own impact. I could help them understand their health. I could be the reason they make the decision to change their outlook. I could be the speaker who changes their fate. I could be the linchpin – the voice that gave them permission to take that next step. I COULD MAKE THEM FEEL.

When you ask yourself about the impact on you, and answer seriously, you realize that it’s not about you. Your nerves will start to dissipate. Because – and let me say this again so you don’t miss it: THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU. 

Takes the pressure off a bit, doesn’t it?

AND – it also makes you answer more truthfully. What WILL you get out of it? How will it impact your life? Your business? Your brand?

It’s NOT about money or fame or status. It’s not about how many clients you’ll get. How will you FEEL when your talk is over?

When you let go of the worry about what others THINK of you, the worry of how many clients you’ll make from that talk, the worry of how much money you’ll make –  and start noticing the impact, you find yourself in a new space. The “it’s not about me” space. This helps you move forward, share your impact, and know how it will impact your life as well.

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn

Dr. Becca is now a deeply close friend of mine – a person I want to spend way more time with. She’s one of those true friends who walks with me. I learn from her as much as she learns from me. We build each other up and help each other grow. We’re in this together – creating impact in our own incredible spaces. Fully in our power and confident in who we are as speakers – and humans.

We both know that it’s not about us – AND we understand how we want others to feel from the content we produce, the talks we give, and the love we share with the world.

Now it’s your turn. What do YOU need to do to step out of your way and create the impact you were born to create? It all starts with the impact your own speaking will have on you. The way you will feel when you’re done – not what others will think of you. It’s NOT about YOU.

It's not about you

Because I want this in more people’s hands, I’ve created a FREE training just for you – the same one Dr. Becca started with before she walked out on stage and rocked her talk. Check out How To Write A Stage-Worthy Talk In Under 45 Minutes at and get started writing your most impactful talk.

I’m standing here with you.