Deeper Work In The Magical Middle
They showed up. Every single one of them.
They showed up for themselves. They showed up for one another. They showed the heck up.
They weren’t even sure what they were really in for, but when they showed up that first night, I watched something shift.
I sat there around a bonfire with these incredible, strong, badass women and I watched them relax into who they really are. I watched their faces searching to see if they needed to fight for the right to be in that circle. I watched them sizing each other up. I watched them posture a little to stand out. Or hide. I watched them see if they fit in. I watched them settle. Something magical was happening.
This was my 8th time hosting this event, yet it was nothing like what I started five years ago. It used to be a place for people to craft and deliver their talks with confidence. To stop being scared of the stage. Now it was something deeper – something at a soul-level.
I knew from the beginning that I had to create this event for myself. I created it as if I was the one attending. I created and crafted it as if I was the only one who needed it. It was for humans on a journey to become who they were really meant to be.
I didn’t even market it. Zero sales page. Zero social media.
I called in the humans who needed to be there. And those incredible, world-changing humans showed up.
Some of them came for skills. Others came to test me. Still others showed up because they knew me and had a feeling this was what they needed. They all found out they were right.
As I sat there by that fire the first night asking them to believe in something bigger than themselves, I saw a softening. I saw self-proclaimed Alpha-women surrender to friendships with humans they had just met. I saw them put it all on display. I saw the real, raw human they didn’t let others know was inside them.
Three intimate days of training, deepening, meditating, connecting, working, resting, practicing, and integrating. Three days learning how to deliver the talk that was deep inside of us (yep, even me!) Each one of us came out the other side as more of the humans we were meant to be.
Looking through the photos and videos, I see how our faces changed. How our interactions shifted. How our movements became more fluid. How we all stepped more fully into ourselves. I could see it that first day around the fire, yet the full experience taught us everything we needed to take the next big step in our lives and careers.
After all of the goodbyes, my Crew and I sat down to understand what had happened. None of us could explain it. None of us had words.
We all went back to integrate what we learned – every human in the Collective and in the Crew.
That’s when the Messy Middle showed up.
When they started to share about their Messy Middles, I was in awe of what had shown up for each human.
Some got sick. Some quit what they were working on. Some found better clients or a better direction for their work. Others sat in their misery and went dark. One even found she could hold onto her powers for days after. None of it was “easy.” All of us were right where we were supposed to be – as is always how it works.
Except that most of us weren’t sure how to get that blissful feeling back – the one we had as we sat in that deep, intimate space.
In my last post, I talked about how the Messy Middle was reframed for me as the Magical Middle. I described it as “the space where all sorts of amazing things can happen and we can manifest a new reality where it doesn’t have to be so hard. We can still do all the hard things, yet they can be easy.”
As I kept getting questions and responses to the post, I realized later that I didn’t fully explain this Magical Middle in its fullest middle-ness.
It’s juicy. It can be f*ing hard. Painful. A LOT. It can get gooey and messy and scary. It can show us things we don’t want to see about ourselves.
Calling it the Magical Middle doesn’t change what’s there. It only changes our perspective. Our perspective on the time we take to integrate what we’re learning.
The words we use tend to become our reality. Messy implies that it has to be hectic. Magical tells a different story.
We can see the magic in our mess. We can see what this time of integration is teaching us. And we can hold a different vibration for what’s to come if we look at it as a magical time.
I share about the Magical Middle specifically because 2022 has just begun. My phrase for this year is Boundless Illumination. This is truly the epitome of the Magical Middle. I am in the very center of this Magical Middle – on a nomadic journey without a home, growing my crew, launching a new business brand, and clearing out a lot of shadows as I make these big changes.
Boundless: To remove the boundaries and limits on my business and personal life so I can become fully the woman I am meant to be.
Illumination: To light the world by lighting up all of the shadows in myself and others so we can see together what needs to be shifted.
Part of me feels like this is asking God for patience and waiting to see what shitstorm He throws my way to test my patience. And yet, I know I am strong enough for whatever is coming. I know it will be like that first night next to the fire – a wondering where I fit only to find that I am among like-minded growing humans who need me just as much as I need them.
I am calling in an even higher level of magic this year.
The humans I desire to work with are at a new level of awareness.
The work we’ll be doing is deeper and more true than anything we’ve done before.
The light and the shadows are waiting for us in this work.
And the vibration is at an all-time high – pushing away those who aren’t ready and calling in those who are.
As we all step into this new year, I see the Messy Middle for some has become the Magical Middle for others. I see the reframe. The new perspective. I see the Knowingness showing up for each of us – the ones who are ready to step deeper into our own magic.
Are you ready to step into your own magic?
Are you feeling as if it’s your time?
Or are you still sitting in the Messy Middle waiting for your sign?
If you feel like I’ve been talking to YOU this whole time, send me a love note – or DM me on social media. I am working on something really big and you might be the person I’ve been looking for.
Or if you got triggered by this post at all (triggered meaning mad, angry, frustrated, or sad), send me a note and tell me. I’d love to hear what comes up for you.
I’m walking alongside you. I’m here for you. With boundless illumination following me everywhere I go in my Magical Middle that feels hard, lovely, scary, and beautiful.
You don’t have to do this alone.
PSST. Retreat photos captured by the magical Mary Gardella